Having grown up around strict parents, strong beliefs and a controlled life, I find it hard to make mistakes, because in my family, there is this motto ‘ To Do The Best You Can‘ but the real meaning behind that is failure is not an option and neither is coming second; which is understandable and this has contributed a great amount to who I am today. At the same time, I detest who I HAVE become, now you may think surely, this is meant to shape you into a bright young ambitious woman.
Yes, sure but it’s also made me become very rigid, I struggle to come to terms with things when it doesn’t go as I have planned which leads to anxiety among other things! Letting loose and not being in control seems to be my greatest hindrance and it’s beginning to affect me in other areas of my life. In my mind I’m as crazy as it gets, but to actually shine that through seems like an impossible task!
I keep telling myself mistakes are allowed but I find it so hard to actually believe this, and I guess I just have to keep reminding myself that my past doesn’t have to be my future and I can do things my way and still get to where I need to be.
Mistakes are allowed; maybe if I tell myself this long enough, I will actually believe it.